Okay. Let’s start.
Right now. It is never going to be any better time later.
My name is Kristian and I am 21 years old. At the moment I am 10 000 km away from home in a place called Singapore. More about my origin later, lets just confirm for now that I am not Singaporean.
I am currently experiencing severe OCD. Actually I think my OCD has never been as bad as it is right now. I kind of see that as a positive sign, since it’s that bad, it cannot get worse right? Or can it? Let’s just suppose it can’t for now. Now you might think, “oh poor guy, he really need professional help to overcome his disorder”. If you do so, stop. Right now. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, and I doubt anyone with OCD have ever wanted that.
Why am I writing this blog?
For myself. That’s not really true, I intend to write it to tell other people suffering there is A LOT OF HOPE FOR YOU! But other than that, I also believe writing can have a positive effect for my own recovery. Even though I have plenty of people to talk about how I,m feeling, I often still feel completely alone even in the middle among people I trust the most. I think this is something many with OCD can recognize themselves in.
You might believe that I just recently got diagnosed with OCD. Fact is I remember the first time I got into a severe condition of OCD was back in 2005, which in fact has 10 years anniversary this year! I have thought about starting writing blog earlier, but my plan has always been to fully recover and THEN start writing about OCD and help other people who are suffering. This because I never felt capable of doing anything at all when the OCD was controlling my life at it worst. I had to rescue myself before rescuing others.
There is only two problems with this strategy: 1) In my experience you will never “get rid of” your OCD, but instead of the OCD controlling your life, you can be the one controlling your OCD. 2) As soon as I got as good that I felt my OCD was not longer in charge of my mind, my life went on and my interest for OCD went away with it. I guess I was just happy it didn’t bother me anymore, and didn’t want to spend any more time related to it.
Now things are different. Now I am completely determined to not only recover as soon as possible, but also let the world know that OCD is treatable, and even if you feel your mind is totally crazy sometimes(which I do a lot of times) it is okay. It is just thoughts right? Isn’t it?
There is especially two blogs and one book that made me take the step to start writing this blog. The first is Janet Singers blog ocdtalk where she talks about different aspects of OCD, and the journey of recovery for her son Dan, which suffered from severe OCD over a long time, but finally managed to recover. She don’t even have OCD, and still she is devoting so much energy and resources in not only helping not her son, but all the others with OCD and their families to find a way to tackle the battle against OCD. She also recently published a book, Overcoming OCD: A Journey to Recovery where she tells the story of how her son’s OCD evolved, and how they finally found the right resources for him to move on with life.
The other blog is Ellen White’s blog “Ellen’s OCD Blog” where she tells about her own journey and tries to clarify different misunderstandings regarding OCD. She is only 16 years old, and are member of the Youth Leadership Panel for @OCDYouth and also winner of Mark Hanson Blogger Mind Media Award 2014! So amazing!
I really admire the work they both have done for bringing OCD out in the daylight, and letting the public know what it really is all about! When I was 16 I didn’t even trust to tell my family about my problems, and Ellen started telling the whole world about herself at the age of 14.
I am not going to try to overcome or in any way beat all the other existing blogs about OCD, but I hope with my blog I can raise one more voice in the fight for awareness of OCD, and hopefully help more people to seek help and get the correct treatment.
Okay, this post maybe got a little long. I’m not used to write blogs, so I’ll try to keep it shorter next time. Anyhow, I hope you will follow my journey back to recovery, and if you have any questions or comments, feel free to ask!